Nintendo Wii with a side of public restroom disgust-o-germs please....

We had been thinking about purchasing a Wii for ourselves and the kids so we had been on the lookout for a while to see when one would be available. finally last Sunday, we saw in the Sunday ad that Target had some. I called on target, none left. Called another and they had 9 left. At my lovely wife's urging, I hurried and packed Ephram into the car and we sped off to Target to get a Wii before they were gone. Anyone with a toddler knows that anytime there is a time sensitive matter to take care of, the toddler will inevitably affect the speed by either engaging what I like to call "toddler speed", which is the slowest, lollygaggiest manner of travel possible, or in this case will have to use the bathroom as soon as you are the farthest distance possible from a bathroom. So as we are cruising down 100th street, Ephram yells out " I have to go peepee!!!!" Can you hold it? "No"!!! It was, as it always is, an urgent situation. So I push the gas a little harder in an attempt to get to the marathon station at the freeway as fast a possible while Ephram holds his wiener and does the pee pee wiggle in his car seat. Finally, we pull in to the marathon and jump out. Of course now, Ephram engages Toddler speed and slows down to look at the packed snow on the wheel wells of our car. "Pee pee Ephram" I yell which brings him back to the reality of the urgent matter and he starts to run to the door. We haul it into the bathroom and pull off his coat and make it just in the nick of time. After the major relief of making it to the bathroom, I tell Ephram not to linger at the potty and that lets get going so we can go get the Wii. He, of course does not care about time and is standing, pants down, admiring the decor of the fancy gas station bathroom. "step back and pull up your pants" I say. (for those who don't have boys, the step back command allows for your toddler to bend over and pull up his pants without sticking his head on the public restroom toilet). He replies "first I gotta flush". I say ok go ahead. Well instead of walking around to the side of the toilet, he just reaches out from the front to get to the handle. Enter slow motion reaction from me. My eyes assessed the long reach, then moved down to the floor where I noticed the wet from the snowy tile floor. I tried to stop him but to no avail. His shoes slipped and he went forward. All the way forward.......into the toilet. The un-flushed toilet. He reached out both hands out and caught himself.......but caught himself in the toilet.....the pee filled, nasty, public toilet. As the horror registered in my mind of a thousand fecal armies set to march up his arms, E says, quite calmly "uh oh". Yeah uh oh!! Luckily, I had rolled up his sleeves so he only had skin contact. We scrubbed his arms like nothing before and then when we got in the car doused his arms with hand sanitizer and were on our way. We did end up getting a Wii but there were only a few left when we got there. Ephram has not come down with any third world mega virus either so all is well. Until next time.....
out

Time to beat the dead horse.....

My last blog included some ranting about the Michigan budget and lack of what I consider to be common sense regarding how to exercise said budget when it comes to snow plowing. For a new chapter in the ongoing plight of the snow plow powers that be, enter the Allegan County road commission. The other day, while walking out to get the mail, one of my daily pleasures as an at home dad ( a couple minutes of silent peace), I see that the gigantic, monster gas sucking fiend that is the Allegan snow plow truck is heading into our subdivision, plow engaged against the already smoothed snow covered surface. Normal reaction to this sight would probably be indifference. Not me. I was miffed. We hadn't seen any sort of snow in the past five days! the roads were decent! You're blowing the budget for crying out loud!! Wait for the snow #$@#@!!! No plow for days when our road had a foot of snow on it and now this?? Couldn't believe it!! I was mentally writing my strongly worded letter to our leadership. Now for the best part. As I sat on the driveway having some sort of silent hissy fit. The guy comes back up the road and, wait for it.....plows like a foot and a half of packed icy dirt/crap snow onto my driveway. aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm going to save some of those chunks for the next time he comes around. If you've ever seen the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase, its like the part with the mail man. He is my new nemesis.
On a lighter note, we went out to San Chez, a Tapas Bar in GRand Rapids. The food was really good and it was a fun experience. I ordered Michigan Artisan Beer from the drink menu and about half way through the owner came out and asked me how I liked It. I thought that strange until I got the bill and it was $19 bucks. No wonder he came out. Lesson learned. It was a good beer. not $19 dollar good but still tasty.
Azsure (my wife) is going to St Louis for a conference and will be gone for 2 nights. Its always a bit of a challenge to have no break from the kids all day and night but I do get to sleep on the most comfortable part of the bed, the big hump in the middle. Im taking the kids out thursday to the mexican place for fun. we rarely go out for lunch or dinner so it will be a treat. plus I have a coupon!
One of these days, I am going to actually write a blog about beng a dad. There are some good stories Im sure and I need to tap into that. It would probably be more constructive than talking about snow plowers. Plus how many stories about snow plowers end with my 3 year old son falling in to the public toilet. Tune in later for that.....
out.

blog blog blog........

Though the Michigan winter has tried its best to destroy me, I live. Though the snow keeps me in a bit where my children try to break my will and send me past insanity, I survive. Be gone winter, come again another day.

That's about it. Christmas...good. New Years...good. First half of January...not too bad. My only complaint is the roads. Our exquisite Michigan leadership has once again proved their genius by, in an attempt to save money, not paying plow drivers to plow on the weekends. Cause we never get snow on Friday through Sunday in Michigan. There are also huge craters all over the city because the roads are falling apart. Our wonderful elected officials refuse to look to other states road technology to maybe learn something about building roads that last for a few years and have settled on just patching with asphalt because its cheaper. Thanks guys, you'll notice that the roads out of Michigan are the worst because they get the most traffic from all of the moving trucks taking people out of the state. Next thing you know, the big three auto makers will be building moving trucks because there is a need for them as people move out. They will use the insight that they have in the past to put all of their money into the production of vehicles that wont be used in a couple of years but hey, that's what they do. On a related note, Hyundai gets the North American car of the year? Everybody at GM should resign in shame.
Speaking of broken things, my bread machine broke. not really broke but I realized that the nonstick stuff on the inside was chipping off and getting into the dough. nothing like feeding your family poison for who knows how long. I know what your thinking...bread machine, how very masculine, but I was kinda distraught because I used that thing so much to make pizza dough and whatnot. Oh well, a new one is on the way. That one by the way was from wal mart and it lasted 10 years. The new one is like the Cadillac of home appliances so we'll see if it lives up.
With the new year came a few resolutions but a lot of them came out like a to do list. Clean out the file cabinet, clean out under the sink, organize the front closet. The others were a little more serious. Be more patient with the kids. Az suggssted this one. Its a good thought, sometimes I get really tired of the fighting and the whining. now when I say something to stop it, Ephram asks "are you going to turn into the incredible hulk daddy"? yes I am ephram, yes I am. The other thing was to force myself to be a giver. It is easy to help people out but my probelm is not paying enough attention to notice peoples needs on a day to day basis. So that's the idea, to remind myself daily that people, especially here in michigan , need help or at least a pick me up during the daily grind and take action.
lastly, I'll be 35 next month. hmmmm....yeah... not sure what to say about that....

My first video blog! wow, i need to clean my basement!

Welcome to November.....

November is here but the weather would say otherwise. We have been enjoying some warm days this week and have been outside playing. Here are some of the things that have been going on:

The election. WOW! I was pretty happy to see Barack Obama win. Even though I am a registered republican, I went the other way. It seems that having kids had made me more of a liberal. I don't know why exactly, maybe its because the last few year of "compassionate conservatism" have been an complete hoax. People need help. period. Some of them just cant help themselves so the government should. (the libertarian living inside me just had a stroke as I typed that). Anyway, back to the election. Watching the celebration all over the country and the world for that matter made me realize just how historic the election really was. I became a little more emotional than I thought I would seeing grown men with tears in their eyes. It was really unbelievable. America will never be the same. Now, lets see how Barack will do as President. Should be interesting. As one of my old friends put it in a text message Wednesday morning "Barack Obama mother f****r!!!!"
On a related note, realizing that the world is changing, sadly, it is unfortunately the same in some ways. We received a homemade flier in our mailbox a week or so before the election that was pretty racist in tone which started with the headline "Wake up white America!" and proceeded to rant about some completely false quotes from Obama. I was pretty po'ed about the whole thing. I realize that its the world we live in but I really don't need my kids growing up in a area where that kind of crap is floating around. Folks like that need to realize that our culture is becoming more and more diverse and our kids need to learn how to live ad thrive in a world that is getting smaller. Unfortunately, Ephram and Soijer are not going to get that sort of education in this district.
Speaking of warm, I made the snap decision yesterday when t was 70 degrees to get the Christmas lights up on the house. you may think me a Christmas freak, which I am, but I am also the freak who will merely flip a switch the day after thanksgiving instead of braving the cold to get my festive spirit on. Fa la la la la la la la la ........
Lastly, for some reason, there is a strange anomaly going on around my house. I don't know if it has to do with me deserving punishment for something I may have done, or some strange space/time flux, or simply that my kids think I deserve it, but lately anytime the kids throw something, swing something, or just let go of something, it hits me in the crotch. Its not fun. I am constantly protecting myself and as soon as I stop thinking about it, BAM! , hot wheels car to the crotch. Strange. I hope its just a phase.
out.

I am becoming clark griswald....

While the world falls down around me with financial catastrophe and other general economic crapification (yes, I like to make up words and that's a good one), I have noticed a change in my personality. While in my youth, as with many, I was concerned with image and being up on music and basic "I'm a cool guy" sort of thing, these days I have found something that trumps all of that and brings out the real fun loving dufus in me. What I am speaking of is the Family fun day. Its any weekend day where there is a real plan and destination to have fun with the kids and wife. I'm not just talking about a trip to the mall but and actual destination. This last weekend was the apple orchard where one utterance out of my mouth made me come to the realization that my life has changed in drastic ways since the arrival of my kids and my decision to stay home and take care of them. It was not anything midblowingly insightful about politics or art or economics (although therm "economic crapification" is pretty good). It was not about solving of the world problems or where we go when we die. It was "Wow! look at that pumpkin!!"................wow, look at that pumpkin..........It's not just the fact that I said wow look at that pumpkin, it was the fact that I really meant it. I had general excitement about this big pumpkin and really wanted Ephram to see it. I think in response he said I want a donut. anyway, it comes back to the fact that I am becoming Clark Griswald and Im not really too worried about it. I like family fun day. I like to pick apples and look at big pumpkins. Hell, I even dont mind too much that I had too haul 4 bags of apples a half mile to the car. I say too much..... Anywhoo, Im not sure when the next Hedges family fun day will occur but you can rest assured that I will be out and ready in black socks and sandals, fanny pack and all that good stuff. Actaully that last part was a lie, I only wear tshirts and cargo pants.
out

This is the end........of our elaborate plans the end....

If you have turned on the tv lately, it has been announced by the media that we have finally pulled the handle on the giant toilet and we are all starting the swirly decent into chaos or whatever the bottom has in store for us. I said to E the other day when he was in front of the tv "move and pay attention, this is historic". Anyway, holy smokes! what a mess!! One of the guys in the dads playgroup today hit the nail on the head when he said " I am waiting to turn on the radio one morning and only hearing static" That about sums it up. There is some evil side to me that appreciates the chaos and cant look away. Yet ,in the midst of this enormous credit crisis, I still get at least two credit card offers at day in the mail. So here is the big idea: why not let the a-holes filling my mail box with pre approved credit offers lend the money to the a-holes who wrote the bad mortgages? By the way, I like to take out all of the junk from the envelope and put it in the return envelope and send it back. it doesn't seem to be working though, maybe I should fill it with rocks.

In other stuff, The hedges family went on the annual Hedges family fun day to Frankenmuth. MI to go to the big Christmas store. It is very Clark Griswaldy and we even listened to some Christmas music on the way over. The big score though was at the outlet mall that afternoon. I scored a new cast iron wok which was pretty sweet. This week we are stir frying up a storm!
We are also gearing up for a trip to IL next Sunday. I am looking forward to eating a Pizza Shack and Eckerts Farm. should be somewhat fun but the best part: we are leaving the kids for few extra days. I have been so excited that I cant even figure out what I am going to do for those days. Lay around? watch movies? Start smoking again? Who knows, it is all very over stimulating to think about it.
That's all for now,