Friday, May 9, 2008

ahh spring....and sweet wasp murder.

Spring is here and so are the gentle urgings to update my blog. So here I am filled with wisdom and whatnot to pass on to the small handful of people who read my blog.
Spring has arrived and with it my nemesis. The wasp. As long as I have been a homeowner, I have despised the arrival of the wasps and wasp nests. I really despise them. Especially the little yellow jacket kind. If they would just stay out of my face, and grill for that matter, we could peacefully coexist. but they don't. I walk out the door and I get a facial buzzing flyby and it drives me nuts. Therefore, back about 8 years ago, I began a Hedges family tradition: The Hedges Family Annual wasp cleansing. At the first sign of a wasp, I wander the perimeter of the house and issue a stern eviction notice to all of the wasps that are in earshot. I then wait a few days to give them a chance to find other accommodations (I am tough but fair) After that, my property becomes a wasp and hornet spray free-fire zone. I wander the yard with the foam 20ft spray (it never reaches 20 ft by the way) and systematically murder every wasp and wasp nest I see with extreme prejudice. I will chase them if they are in free flight if I have to. I offer no quarter because I know none would be offered to me should I stumble into a nest. Now, most people will knock down the nests after all of the wasps are dead. Not me. A nest covered in dead wasps serves as the perfect deterrent for other wasps thinking about moving into the neighborhood. I still have a dead carcass of a wasp on our wind chimes from 2 summers ago and have no intention of removing it. It will forever stand as a warning and a symbol of my commitment to driving the wasp out of my subdivision and therefore out of my life.