Dad instinct....

A lot of the parenting books describe how new parents will be able to take care of their kids by instinct. They talk about how dads and moms will just know how to nurture their kids and help them along and after a while, parenting will be very natural. Well, the other day, my inert dad instinct failed, at least I hope it was a failure and not some sort of subconscious statement about being irritated with Soijer. We were in the bathroom hanging out in the morning, we being the whole family. Soijer was happily climbing on the step stool which normally Ephram is very adamant about not letting her do. I saw her begin to lose her balance and then watched as she began to fall. However, my paternal instincts did not kick in as they should have. Instead, my self preservation instinct engaged. I saw her heading for my feet and the split second thought was, not to save my child, but that her 90th percentile sized head was going to smash my already injured big toe so I just moved it out of the way and clunk! she hit the floor and started to cry. I looked at Azsure and she looked at me, then realizing the strangeness of me just letting her fall, we both started laughing. Soijer was not happy at all but we knew that she would live. Since then, I have been wondering about my paternal instincts. Whether or not they are there or just on vacation or have been chased away by days of fighting kids and nights of yelling babies. Oh well, we'll just have to find out.

I am still alive.....

In case you were wondering. Thats all for today.