Nintendo Wii with a side of public restroom disgust-o-germs please....

We had been thinking about purchasing a Wii for ourselves and the kids so we had been on the lookout for a while to see when one would be available. finally last Sunday, we saw in the Sunday ad that Target had some. I called on target, none left. Called another and they had 9 left. At my lovely wife's urging, I hurried and packed Ephram into the car and we sped off to Target to get a Wii before they were gone. Anyone with a toddler knows that anytime there is a time sensitive matter to take care of, the toddler will inevitably affect the speed by either engaging what I like to call "toddler speed", which is the slowest, lollygaggiest manner of travel possible, or in this case will have to use the bathroom as soon as you are the farthest distance possible from a bathroom. So as we are cruising down 100th street, Ephram yells out " I have to go peepee!!!!" Can you hold it? "No"!!! It was, as it always is, an urgent situation. So I push the gas a little harder in an attempt to get to the marathon station at the freeway as fast a possible while Ephram holds his wiener and does the pee pee wiggle in his car seat. Finally, we pull in to the marathon and jump out. Of course now, Ephram engages Toddler speed and slows down to look at the packed snow on the wheel wells of our car. "Pee pee Ephram" I yell which brings him back to the reality of the urgent matter and he starts to run to the door. We haul it into the bathroom and pull off his coat and make it just in the nick of time. After the major relief of making it to the bathroom, I tell Ephram not to linger at the potty and that lets get going so we can go get the Wii. He, of course does not care about time and is standing, pants down, admiring the decor of the fancy gas station bathroom. "step back and pull up your pants" I say. (for those who don't have boys, the step back command allows for your toddler to bend over and pull up his pants without sticking his head on the public restroom toilet). He replies "first I gotta flush". I say ok go ahead. Well instead of walking around to the side of the toilet, he just reaches out from the front to get to the handle. Enter slow motion reaction from me. My eyes assessed the long reach, then moved down to the floor where I noticed the wet from the snowy tile floor. I tried to stop him but to no avail. His shoes slipped and he went forward. All the way forward.......into the toilet. The un-flushed toilet. He reached out both hands out and caught himself.......but caught himself in the toilet.....the pee filled, nasty, public toilet. As the horror registered in my mind of a thousand fecal armies set to march up his arms, E says, quite calmly "uh oh". Yeah uh oh!! Luckily, I had rolled up his sleeves so he only had skin contact. We scrubbed his arms like nothing before and then when we got in the car doused his arms with hand sanitizer and were on our way. We did end up getting a Wii but there were only a few left when we got there. Ephram has not come down with any third world mega virus either so all is well. Until next time.....
out

Time to beat the dead horse.....

My last blog included some ranting about the Michigan budget and lack of what I consider to be common sense regarding how to exercise said budget when it comes to snow plowing. For a new chapter in the ongoing plight of the snow plow powers that be, enter the Allegan County road commission. The other day, while walking out to get the mail, one of my daily pleasures as an at home dad ( a couple minutes of silent peace), I see that the gigantic, monster gas sucking fiend that is the Allegan snow plow truck is heading into our subdivision, plow engaged against the already smoothed snow covered surface. Normal reaction to this sight would probably be indifference. Not me. I was miffed. We hadn't seen any sort of snow in the past five days! the roads were decent! You're blowing the budget for crying out loud!! Wait for the snow #$@#@!!! No plow for days when our road had a foot of snow on it and now this?? Couldn't believe it!! I was mentally writing my strongly worded letter to our leadership. Now for the best part. As I sat on the driveway having some sort of silent hissy fit. The guy comes back up the road and, wait for it.....plows like a foot and a half of packed icy dirt/crap snow onto my driveway. aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm going to save some of those chunks for the next time he comes around. If you've ever seen the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase, its like the part with the mail man. He is my new nemesis.
On a lighter note, we went out to San Chez, a Tapas Bar in GRand Rapids. The food was really good and it was a fun experience. I ordered Michigan Artisan Beer from the drink menu and about half way through the owner came out and asked me how I liked It. I thought that strange until I got the bill and it was $19 bucks. No wonder he came out. Lesson learned. It was a good beer. not $19 dollar good but still tasty.
Azsure (my wife) is going to St Louis for a conference and will be gone for 2 nights. Its always a bit of a challenge to have no break from the kids all day and night but I do get to sleep on the most comfortable part of the bed, the big hump in the middle. Im taking the kids out thursday to the mexican place for fun. we rarely go out for lunch or dinner so it will be a treat. plus I have a coupon!
One of these days, I am going to actually write a blog about beng a dad. There are some good stories Im sure and I need to tap into that. It would probably be more constructive than talking about snow plowers. Plus how many stories about snow plowers end with my 3 year old son falling in to the public toilet. Tune in later for that.....
out.

blog blog blog........

Though the Michigan winter has tried its best to destroy me, I live. Though the snow keeps me in a bit where my children try to break my will and send me past insanity, I survive. Be gone winter, come again another day.

That's about it. Christmas...good. New Years...good. First half of January...not too bad. My only complaint is the roads. Our exquisite Michigan leadership has once again proved their genius by, in an attempt to save money, not paying plow drivers to plow on the weekends. Cause we never get snow on Friday through Sunday in Michigan. There are also huge craters all over the city because the roads are falling apart. Our wonderful elected officials refuse to look to other states road technology to maybe learn something about building roads that last for a few years and have settled on just patching with asphalt because its cheaper. Thanks guys, you'll notice that the roads out of Michigan are the worst because they get the most traffic from all of the moving trucks taking people out of the state. Next thing you know, the big three auto makers will be building moving trucks because there is a need for them as people move out. They will use the insight that they have in the past to put all of their money into the production of vehicles that wont be used in a couple of years but hey, that's what they do. On a related note, Hyundai gets the North American car of the year? Everybody at GM should resign in shame.
Speaking of broken things, my bread machine broke. not really broke but I realized that the nonstick stuff on the inside was chipping off and getting into the dough. nothing like feeding your family poison for who knows how long. I know what your thinking...bread machine, how very masculine, but I was kinda distraught because I used that thing so much to make pizza dough and whatnot. Oh well, a new one is on the way. That one by the way was from wal mart and it lasted 10 years. The new one is like the Cadillac of home appliances so we'll see if it lives up.
With the new year came a few resolutions but a lot of them came out like a to do list. Clean out the file cabinet, clean out under the sink, organize the front closet. The others were a little more serious. Be more patient with the kids. Az suggssted this one. Its a good thought, sometimes I get really tired of the fighting and the whining. now when I say something to stop it, Ephram asks "are you going to turn into the incredible hulk daddy"? yes I am ephram, yes I am. The other thing was to force myself to be a giver. It is easy to help people out but my probelm is not paying enough attention to notice peoples needs on a day to day basis. So that's the idea, to remind myself daily that people, especially here in michigan , need help or at least a pick me up during the daily grind and take action.
lastly, I'll be 35 next month. hmmmm....yeah... not sure what to say about that....