The toddler food revolution begins........

Another short note today to mention how much my kids like avocados. So today I made Avocado and tomato whole wheat wraps. They loved it! So much better than an ordinary avocado sandwich. There is some great satisfaction in getting something really healthy into a toddler and them being happy about it. Its also good to stick it to the food companies who insist on trying to poison us all. On a related food note, I constantly see moms at the park, mall or wherever, continually shoving food at their kids. like the whole time. "Here johnny, here are some more goldfish crackers. oh and some fruit snacks too" (that's not fruit lady!!!) Anyway, It peaked my curiosity because none of the dads in my group are even giving out snacks during the play time. I wonder if its a gender thing? Is it a nurturing thing for women? hmmm....curious. I'll still save my tirade regarding the crap that passes as food and kids snacks for another day. That's the second time I've mentioned that but its coming.
My wife's mother is coming in tonight for a visit and Ephram has been freaked out all day. He is really excited. I've been trying to give him a little leniency (wow did I really spell that right the first time? spell check says so) since he is over excited. It should be fun and give me some time to decompress.
Speaking of compressing, My wife got the lead roll in the Grand Rapids Civic Theater Production of "The Foreigner". It is pretty exciting for her and we are all very proud. We are a bit concerned that rehearsal is Sunday through Thursday nights from 7:00pm to 10:00pm and that it will cause me to go a little crazy with the kids but the way I see it, total insanity should set in after a week or two and I can enjoy the bliss from then on out.
Lastly, Human Touch by Springsteen is a killer song. That's all...

Robots built for warfare? Come with me if you want to live.....

Just a quick note today to mention this article I read in the New Yorker about a gunsmith who makes a recoil-less, fully automatic shotgun that is mounted on a small ground robot or U.A.V Helicopter. It was so freaking interesting and scary that I had to post something about it. If you like this sort of techno thing, or if you have seen the Matrix too many times, give it a read. The picture in my mind was of hundreds of thousands of armed to the gills, Wall-E style robots parading down Pennsylvania Avenue (kinda like the Soviets used to parade their ICBM's). Really interesting stuff. The coolest thing he talked about was a larger robot that breaks into a building then drops seven of the smaller robots armed with this crazy auto shotgun to clear the place out. Before you know it, someone from the future will be sent back here to kill the guy that created this thing because, of course, the robots will have taken over and turned humankind into slaves.

Here is the article
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/02/23/090223fa_fact_ratliff

The arrival of middle age....with a little fame on the side..

I use the term "middle age" loosely. My college professor of sociology told my that my generation would have an average life span of 120 years. I don't think that he anticipated the effect that processed and fast food would have on our evolution in that it would drive our society backwards instead of forwards. That's a whole other subject that I'll get into another time. I'm talking about reaching the big 35. Probably not actually middle age but, considering what I did to my body in my early 20's, a lofty goal none the less. My birthday last Thursday was good. My folks came to town from Illinois and we went out for dinner at On The Border where my favorite is the fish tacos (talk about food that is not good for you, the fish tacos are a definite heart killer but it was my freakin birthday). My wife had purchased a new pan for me earlier in the week and it came actually on my birthday which was cool. I know, what your thinking, a pan for your birthday how exciting, but i was fairly jazzed about it because it was an All Clad pan which I have drooled over for quite a while and am now fully prepared to engage in some culinary masterpieces such as fried plantains and Blue Cheese Fritters. (both favorites of mine from the Tapas Bar). I also brought in enough birthday dough and gift cards (35 is apparently a milestone so you get more stuff), to afford the espresso machine I've had my eye on for quite some time. The kids broke my old machine so I am looking forward to making my own coffee drinks again. On a side note, my apologies to Starbucks, I know you guys are in some trouble but I have to look at my own economy too. I'll still be around a little especialy around christmas for a peppermint mocha so dont fret. Overall, my birthday week was really enjoyable. I did have to play in a wedding so that took up my friday and saturday but all was well. I just need to get out and get some espresso and maybe a glass or two for my new machine when it gets here.
Now for the fame part......We had a small article about the dad's group in the local family magazine which led to an interview on WLHT radio here in Grand Rapids. It was a very short interview but I think I did ok and was not a bumbling idiot and got the info across so hopefully that will lead to some more members. I was just happy to find out that it was not some sort of cruel prank which was in the back of my ever conspiracy laden mind.
With all of that said, its time for spring. It's time for playgrounds and not malls. Its time for cargo shorts (the official uniform of the stay at home dad), sandals, t shirts and getting rid of the fight to get a toddler in a winter coat into the five point harness of a carseat. As I have said in the past "Be gone winter.....come again next year. you've worn out your welcome"

Sometimes, my job is just.........

If you read my last blog, you learned of my experience with E falling in a public toilet and my ensuing fear of what he could be infected with. Well, this week, the "march of 1000 fecal armies" visited my other child. Literally. My sweet, angel of a daughter Soijer, who will be 2 in April, has been fighting her afternoon nap for the past few weeks. It drives me crazy. She needs the sleep. I need the break. E needs to play Wii bowling without someone screaming at him and standing in front of the TV. So lately, I have been leaving her to babble and make noise and play in her crib and whatnot for however long it takes for her to either go to sleep or for me to decide that its too late and she can go to bed really early. Yesterday, she was doing her normal thing and I listened for a while to her through the monitor and after about an hour or so I decided that it was time to go in and tell her to go to sleep. When I walked into the bedroom, I was met by a punch in the face of super stink and almost just closed the door and sealed up the room. Then my eyes met my sweet daughter happily giggling. Happily giggling with her pants off. "whatcha' doin baby" I say in my sweet daddy voice masking my irritation of her again refusing to sleep. That's when I notice. Poop..... Squirty poop........ Everywhere...... All over the sheets....all over Elmo...All over Bunny...... All over care bear.....a little on Soijer's head..... a lot on her hands.....Once again the thought of closing the door and sealing the room crosses my mind. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I am officially speechless. In my mind, I am cursing the 1000 fecal armies with all of my best cuss word combinations but there are none sufficient to convey the utter horror I am experiencing. I have to take a minute. Time to conjure up some of the parental wisdom, patience, love and all the other stuff that the books say come with parenthood. I don't have any. I try to take a deep breath or two, but the smell shocks me back to reality. Finally, God presents the miracle I was waiting for. Soijer looks at me, looks at her hands and, with the sweetest angel voice says "daddy.....................poop". I am disarmed. "yes baby" I say, "poop". I suck it up and get to work, get Soijer clean and into the tub, put all of here sleeping buddies into the washing machine and go about looking around for secret poop smudges on the wall or crib or whatever. Finally, i finish all of the cleanup and finish the day. My wife found the whole situation hysterical. I laughed too when I told her about it but there were a few minutes there where I about lost it. I'm not sure what the lesson is for that one. Maybe there is no lesson, just a story for my amusement and all of Soijer's first dates.